As I get older, I see I have an excess of skin, I see crêpey skin creeping on my forearm, I see bags under my eyes that have nothing to do with my losing sleep. I wake up with aches and squeaks that become better as I oil my body with daily exercise and coffee.

And yet, if I only focus on those things, I will become so depressed.

2018 has been a year where I thought a lot about what legacy I will leave behind me: what is the one thing that people will remember about me when they mention my name?

A dear friend of mine told me years ago that she made a deal with God, “God if you ever find me doing something that will shame Your Name, take me immediately. I want to glorify You always”.

This became my motto in life.

I realized that relationships are the most important thing. Looking back on my life, I realized that at times I became angry, or took offense because I had pride in my heart.

When I look at Jesus, I see that He valued relationships so much that He died for His enemies.

What legacy am I leaving behind? Will people say Laila loved money? Laila was so proud? Laila took offense easily? Laila felt entitles?

What will my sons say? Will they remember the times I laughed with them, I encouraged and helped them? I stayed up because they were sick or their hearts were broken?

What will my daughters in love say? That I loved them like they were my own?

What will my grandchildren say? That Nana always had time to laugh and sing and be silly sometimes being oblivious to her age and physical competencies.

These are the things others remember when we leave. Strive for those. Life is so short.

Opposite to my carnal nature, I am working hard to please God even if it means sometimes that I will relinquish my comfort, my rest and sometimes even my right.

This concept is so foreign in the world we live in, yet this is what Jesus did, and He WON.


“Let this same attitude and purpose and [humble] mind be in you which was in Christ Jesus: [Let Him be your example in humility:]

Who, although being essentially one with God and in the form of God [possessing the fullness of the attributes which make God God], did not think this equality with God was a thing to be eagerly grasped or retained,

But stripped Himself [of all privileges and rightful dignity], so as to assume the guise of a servant (slave), in that He became like men and was born a human being.

And after He had appeared in human form, He abased and humbled Himself [still further] and carried His obedience to the extreme of death, even the death of the cross!

Therefore [because He stooped so low] God has highly exalted Him and has freely bestowed on Him the name that is above every name,

That in (at) the name of Jesus every knee should (must) bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth,

And every tongue [frankly and openly] confess and acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.



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